Parental alienation is a heartbreaking phenomenon that can destroy families. It occurs when one parent (the alienating parent) manipulates a child into rejecting the other parent (the targeted parent), often during or after a contentious divorce or custody dispute. Over time, this manipulation may result in a complete breakdown of the child’s relationship with the targeted parent, causing emotional and psychological harm to both the child and the parent.
In this blog, we’ll explore what parental alienation is, how it affects families, and what leading experts—including Dr. Jennifer Harman, Dr. Bill Bernet, Dr. Amy Baker, Dr. Steven Miller, and attorney Ashish Joshi—have to say about this complex issue.
Defining Parental Alienation
Parental alienation is defined by a pattern of behaviors that one parent uses to undermine the child’s relationship with the other parent. This can include badmouthing the targeted parent, restricting contact, or creating a narrative that paints the alienated parent in a negative light. Over time, these actions can cause the child to reject the alienated parent, often without a valid reason.
Parental Alienation in the DSM-5
While the term Parental Alienation is not explicitly recognized as a standalone diagnosis in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), it is acknowledged under the broader category of Parent-Child Relational Problems (Z62.820). This classification describes relational disturbances between parents and children, including those caused by alienating behaviors.
Dr. Bill Bernet, a child psychiatrist and editor of Parental Alienation: The Handbook for Mental Health and Legal Professionals, has written extensively on this topic. He explains that parental alienation behaviors fit into the DSM-5 framework because they involve:
Persistent manipulation or conflict in the parent-child relationship.
The child’s unjustified alignment with one parent and rejection of the other.
Dr. Bernet advocates for using the DSM-5's Parent-Child Relational Problem code to identify and address parental alienation in clinical and legal settings. This approach allows mental health professionals to recognize the behaviors as part of an established diagnostic framework, ensuring that families can get the support they need.
Dr. Jennifer Harman further emphasizes that Parental Alienation Behaviors (PABs), such as limiting access to the alienated parent or badmouthing them, are forms of coercive control. Harman describes parental alienation as a systematic effort to disrupt the bond between a parent and child, which can lead to long-term psychological consequences for both.
Common Signs of Parental Alienation
Parental alienation often manifests in subtle yet destructive ways. Dr. Amy Baker, an expert in parental alienation and author of Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind, has identified several hallmark behaviors that indicate alienation:
Unjustified Rejection: The child rejects the targeted parent without legitimate reasons, even if they previously had a loving relationship.
"Independent Thinker" Phenomenon: The child insists that their rejection of the parent is their own decision, often mirroring the alienating parent’s language.
Lack of Empathy or Guilt: The child shows no remorse for their behavior toward the targeted parent.
Dehumanization of the Targeted Parent: The child views the alienated parent as all bad and the alienating parent as all good.
Dr. Steven Miller, a physician and parental alienation expert, categorizes these behaviors as child psychological abuse, emphasizing that parental alienation disrupts the child’s attachment system and causes profound harm.
How Parental Alienation Affects Children
The effects of parental alienation on children can be severe and long-lasting. Dr. Jennifer Harman highlights several common outcomes, including:
Identity Struggles: Alienated children may struggle to form a cohesive sense of self because they are taught to reject part of their family identity.
Emotional Distress: Depression, anxiety, and feelings of guilt are common in children who experience parental alienation.
Challenges in Future Relationships: Alienated children often struggle with trust and forming healthy relationships in adulthood.
Dr. Bernet also warns of the potential for Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), a term he uses to describe the psychological symptoms caused by alienation behaviors. Although controversial, PAS emphasizes the significant harm that these behaviors inflict on children and families.
Legal Challenges and Advocacy
Attorney Ashish Joshi, a leading litigator in parental alienation cases and author of Litigating Parental Alienation: Evaluating and Presenting an Effective Case in Court, explains that parental alienation presents unique challenges in the legal system. Judges and custody evaluators may struggle to differentiate between natural estrangement (caused by abuse or neglect) and alienation-driven rejection.
Joshi advises parents to work with mental health professionals and legal experts to build a strong case. This can include:
Documenting alienation behaviors (e.g., emails, texts, or recordings).
Providing testimony from therapists or court-appointed evaluators.
Highlighting specific instances of interference with parenting time.
Dispelling Myths About Parental Alienation
There are several common myths about parental alienation that need to be addressed:
Myth 1: Parental alienation only occurs in high-conflict divorces.
Truth: Alienation behaviors can occur even in intact families or after legal disputes have ended.
Myth 2: Children always reject a parent for valid reasons.
Truth: Alienation often stems from manipulation rather than legitimate concerns about the targeted parent.
Myth 3: Parental alienation only affects the rejected parent.
Truth: Alienation harms the child’s emotional well-being and can have long-term effects on their relationships and mental health.
What Can Be Done About Parental Alienation?
If you suspect parental alienation, here’s what you can do:
Seek Professional Support: Consult a therapist or counselor experienced in parental alienation to assess the situation and provide intervention strategies.
Document Alienation Behaviors: Keep detailed records of incidents, communication, and missed parenting time to build evidence for legal proceedings.
Work with Experts: Collaborate with professionals like Dr. Jennifer Harman, Dr. Bill Bernet, or attorney Ashish Joshi, who have expertise in addressing alienation cases.
Educate Yourself: Read books and research from leading experts, such as Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome by Dr. Amy Baker or Litigating Parental Alienation by Ashish Joshi, to better understand the issue.
Conclusion
Parental alienation is a painful and complex issue, but you don’t have to face it alone. With the right support from mental health professionals, legal experts, and compassionate advocates, it is possible to rebuild relationships and protect your children from the harmful effects of alienation.
As Dr. Steven Miller reminds us, “Parental alienation is not just a family problem; it’s a public health issue that requires urgent attention.” Together, we can raise awareness and work toward solutions that prioritize the well-being of children and families.
Resources for Further Reading
Parental Alienation: The Handbook for Mental Health and Legal Professionals – Edited by Dr. Bill Bernet
Litigating Parental Alienation – Ashish Joshi
Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome – Dr. Amy Baker
Research by Dr. Jennifer Harman on Parental Alienation Behaviors
If you or someone you know is struggling with parental alienation, contact us today for expert consulting services. Together, we can help restore family bonds and protect your rights.
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